I Want to Write

It's been a while since I have written anything here. Writing like this is new to me. I have never been much of a writer and honestly, I never really liked to write. Writing was always difficult for me. It did not come naturally like it does for others. Kind of like reading. I did not truly enjoy reading until I was an adult. Now I could sit and read all day. I have come to realize that there was probably a reason writing did not come naturally. And it was not that I didn't have alot to say. Having a child with Expressive Language disorder and and doing all the research I have done, I realized that i have some of the same classical "symptoms" of the disorder, only to a smaller degree then Angela. In a nutshell, expressive language disorder means that a person understands language better then they are able to communicate. Also, may have a lot to say, but are unable to retrieve the words they need (we see this alot with Angela but have seen BIG improvements). This may occur when they are trying to describe, or explain something. How frustrating this must be for her. And with Andy as her father, she definitely has the "a lot to say" gene...hahahaha. Memory is a big part of this disorder also. It was interesting when we had her evaluated, watching all the different tests they did. One of the tests was a memory test. It was so hard as her mother watching her struggle with this. FYI, parents got to sit behind a one way mirror and watch, and all this occurred at UCONN's speech and hearing clinic 2 hours each visit (there were 2 visits). They had rows with small blocks of colors and she had to read off the colors as fast as she could (they timed her). The first row she flew through, but she would start forgetting the colors or having to stop and think about it as she went on down the rows. Along with Expressive Language disorder she was also diagnosed with phonological disorder and Speech delay(which she was already in therapy for). BUT on the up side, we found out that she has a large understanding of vocabulary, above level. Of course we already knew how smart she was. Now, I am not one who likes to "label" children. Working in the field i did for so long, i learned how a label actually can hurt a child more then help. But in Angela's case I am glad we did, only so that we knew what path to take with her learning and it helped her speech therapist come up with more ideas. WE have been blessed with such a wonderful Speech Therapist. She is so supportive of homeschooling and we work well together to help Angela.

School is often a "sore" spot for individuals with this disorder. To give a better idea then i could on this here is a quote from an article at childspeech.net,

"these children may act out in school, or in later school years and reject learning completely. With school-aged children, expressive language difficulties may be evident in writing as well. These children may have difficulties with spelling, using words correctly, composing sentences, performing written composition, etc. They may express frustration because they recognize that they cannot express the idea they wish to communicate. These children may become withdrawn socially because they cannot use language to relate to peers."

We have been told that some children with Expressive Language disorder become school drop outs. Imagine being told you fail all the time, very frustrating. Some of these kids don't even know that they have this disorder. It is not something schools usually test for or know to test for. The Speech Pathologist that did Angela's big evaluation said that she had a 17 year old in with his father. Everyone just thought the boy was lazy and that is why he did poorly in school. That was not the case and this child spent his school years thinking he was "dumb" and lazy. So sad. This is why homeschooling is the best option here, for us. We are not gonna tell Angela she failed. We are going to be able to cater her schooling around her needs. She will be able to learn with material that fits her learning style. Both girls get this at home. It is not the schools fault that they can not do this. They would need many more teachers and many more curriculum styles. Many more chances for one on one with the kids. They just don't have the money and sometimes they just refuse to see the reality of it.

Anyways, there is my blog of the day. I hope I was able to express myself in a way that made sense. I hope as I continue to write, the skill of writing will become easier and easier. I often struggle, as i have my entire life to find the right words to put down to make a sentence sound correct or that sounds intelligent. The dictionary and thesaurus have become my best friends. Do I want to be a perfect writer. No, I just want to bring everyone into our home and hopefully give you all a glimpse of our family. Oh, and please, forgive me for my spelling errors...hahahaha